Fashion Tips for Teachers

September 8, 2014

1. 

“Same pants, different day, A-OK.” If, like me, you teach some classes that meet Monday and Wednesday and others that meet Tuesday and Thursday, this is the perfect opportunity to wear the same pair of pants two days in a row. You’ll be seeing entirely new students, so no one will know you’re wearing the same pants (and most likely underwear) as the previous day. It’s theoretically possible to also wear the same shirt, but this is riskier, as someone in the teacher’s office might notice and then make disparaging remarks about you to the other teachers when you go to class. You should be fine with the pants, though, because none of the other teachers care about your pants.

2.

If you have a really nice shirt that has a noticeable stain, don’t throw it away! You can wear it once for each new class you teach – just pretend you got the stain that day. Your students will think, “What a nice shirt that is, and how fashionable is my teacher,” while at the same time feeling sorry for you because of the stain. Everyone will think you’re having a bad day since you spilled something on your shirt, and they won’t want to make it worse, so they’ll be extra polite and well-behaved.

3.

If you have a super fashionable coat, find an excuse to wear it to class. The best method is to arrive late. You can come straight from home, or just hang out in the teacher’s office until five minutes past starting time. Then you’ll need to rush to your classroom, where all your students will be waiting for you. As you prepare the day’s teaching materials, you can continue to wear your coat as you “warm up” while looking really stylish. Another tactic is to pretend the heater isn’t working. Then you can just go ahead and give your lecture wearing your coat, but be sure to periodically grumble about how cold the room is and complain about building management so the students know you’re on their side – you’re all in this together, suffering from the cold but looking great.

4.

Frayed belt loops: everyone gets them. The material on the outside of the belt loop gets worn away over the years, revealing a sub-layer of embarrassingly white threads. You might think at this point that your only option is to throw the pants away, or maybe burn them, but this problem can actually be solved in the privacy of your own home with a simple classroom board marker. Just color in the white threads with the marker! image

The pants in the example photo are brown, and brown board markers don’t exist, so just go with black. Only the students in the front row will be able to notice the difference, and they won’t tell anyone because front row students are your friends and don’t want to hurt you. Please remember, though, that board markers aren’t waterproof, so you’ll need to reapply after each wash.

Keep looking good, teachers!

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